rowdy girl

the dark-side

oh the misery......the last two weeks have been the darkest days of my whole entire life.....you may think im kidding right now, but im not. im so serious. im not happy. there i said it. i had someone point out to me last week that they dont think blogs are very honest because you only write about the happy stuff. well, this is not happy stuff. this is really hard yucky stuff. this is life.....and its the dark-side of life. the side of life that no one likes to talk about.....or even think about.....but when every day is filled with doubt and anger and rage, and hope and peace and joy.....all at the same time.....you can do nothing BUT think about it.....and now, it's my turn. to have a bad day. a lot of bad days....a bad, bad couple of weeks......and a whole lot of tears. so many tears. i could fill a swimming pool......and those are just my tears, cruz's dont even count.

not to say ive been alone through all this. i havent been. i know that god is always with me.....but to say i havent doubted that he was there for me would be a lie, cause i have.....but i know now that he is there for me more than i ever have and i know now the way he works too. and i know now that we have to really ask for him, and really be faithful, and really just trust in him.....and wait, and listen, and pray.....and have even more faith. i know that now.

im really not trying to be a drain, im really not.....im really just trying to be honest. honest about this life thing.....its such a temporal thing. how many times have i forgotten that? how many times have i lived in the moment....or for the moment? too many. how many times have i taken credit for somthing when really all the credit should be his......god's. we are instruments in his hands and all the credit should go to him. WE havent done anything and HE has done EVERYTHING. its so simple yet so misunderstood.

so this is where i am. i call it the dark-side. you can call it whatever you want......im just trying to figure it all out.....trying to crawl out i should say.....of this really dark place. a place so, so dark....but at the same time, i have been granted peace. and with that peace is where i find him....god.....and that is why i believe i have been given this dark time.....to really find him. and to learn about his love for me. and his love for others, too. isnt it crazy to think that god loves your worst enemy just as much as he loves you? i hate that. i hate to even think it. but its true.....my mom told me that.....and it really opened my eyes to love, gods love, and loving one another......

.......speaking of love, i love all of you......so much. seriously, you know who you are and i love you.....

xoxo

kat

i heart justin serra!

happy birthday my love!!!

well, its justins birthday today and thats right, he's the big 3 - 0!!! he cant believe it....i cant believe it...but one thing is for sure....i have never been more in love with that man. its so cliche, but he completes me. there i said it. but for real, he makes up for everything i fall short in, which is mostly everything. he walks tall and strong and proud when i just want to fall, and cry, and crumble. he tells me he loves me all day long....and more importantly i really FEEL like he does....even when i dont deserve that fierce kind of love....he shows it to me. always. he loves me like there is no tomorrow and it is the TRUEST and PUREST form of love there is. the kind of love you only dream about....the kind of love I have been dreaming about ever since i was a little girl. his dedication is above all others and sometimes its a little overwhelming (not that im complaining) and his devotion is just so constant....so, so constant....and his loyalty....boy, his loyalty is unwaivering, unshaken, and unmatchable. he makes me feel beautiful every single day and in every single way.....and i can honestly say that i can not recall even one moment in my life that he made me feel anything less than perfect. he is just that way. HE is perfect. i dont deserve this man. and i probably never will. all i can gather is that god did me the hugest favor....and him the biggest injustice....by making him my husband. i dont know how we found eachother.....i mean, the only thing we really have in common is that we love eachother, and that is just fine with me.....as long as he keeps loving me every single day for the rest of my life...the way that he loves me now....that is all i need. i love you sweetheart, forever and a day. happy birthday!

 

 

 

i love you birthday boy.....xoxo kat

SURPRISE!

so this weekend is my friend loni's birthday....so....SURPRISE LONI....im blogging all about you today.... AND, in TRUE kat serra fashion....we need to start celebrating now....right this very second.....cause we only have a couple more days till the real thing....and you know how i feel about birthdays. they should go on forever. 

and, you need to know how i feel about this girl, too....so im so glad it's her birthday so i can brag....she is the most dedicated person i have ever met. if she wants something, she goes after it...without thinking twice...and gets it. a quality i am completely envious of BTW.....AND, she has more determination and motivation in her pretty little pinkie finger than i do in my whole entire body.....she speaks her mind, she tells you how it is....she doesn't hold back....anything....you always know where u stand with her....i love that....

she is ALWAYS there when you need something...always....and her advice always tops the charts....she is such a smart girl....and i think one of the things i love most....is that she loves russ....the way i love justin. its hard to explain, but she knows what im talking about.....

anyways, we always have a good time....always....and i know that we will be a part of each-others lives forever....and i love that....oh and i forgot to mention the obvious...you know how annoyingly perfect and beautiful she is.....perfect skin, microscopic pores, gorgeous & thick LONG, LONG hair....beautiful nail-beds, the works....you get the picture....well, you can see the pictures....shes just gorgeous....

......so here's to you, loni....on your birthday.....here's to everything you are, everything i have been blessed to watch you become, and everything i know you will be.....i love you.

.....oh, and one more thing......HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!!!!

 

 

xoxo kat.....with an extra xoxo for the birthday girl!
 

that's hot!

cruz got his first mo-hawk last week....courtesy of aunt bekah....and i have to say....i LOVED it....he looks so tough, even in his little car-seat...LOVE him....& i absolutely love you too, bekah!!!

xoxo kat

from marie's blog....

....to mine! so i have to admit....i stole this next little caption from my sissy marie's blog....it was just so dang cute i couldnt even stand it....it is cruz & parker.....just playing around together....or trying to anyways.....i say "trying to" cause i am kind of restraining cruz the whole time....he likes to play right now by clawing peoples eyes out and hitting them, too.... luckily this play date ended nicely. just look....

 

aaaahhhhhhhh......we LOVE you parker!

xoxo

kat

what i would give for one of these right now.....

so justin and i put cruz down for bed at like, 7....and we really wanted a treat....bad...cause i never keep any in the house.....& for good reason, too.

anyways, he wanted me to go get treats and i wanted him to go....but we were just too lazy to get up and go....anywhere! so.....we just sat here all night, watching tv....wishing we had treats....and i was really wishing i had this big, huge, mess of a cookie from mrs. fileds that i created when i was in VA beach visiting bekah a few weeks ago.....

.....the stupid, sinfully delicious thing has been on my mind ever since....anyways , its a really fun story cause we just picked out the two cookies that looked the most scrumptious, which just happened to be sugar cookie m&m btw...and then they put like a pound of frosting in between them.....ok, well maybe not a pound but i wish ithey did....

.....we ate the whole thing so fast though....so.....after we did some more shopping.....

we had to get another......

...ya know, for the way home....cause it was a long ride :)

and it was SOOOOOOO good.....

and poor bekah, she had to drive and eat all at the same time....

...and then, i got real sad cause it was almost gone....

but then bekah was REAL true and GAVE ME HER LAST BITE.....sadly, i would not have done the same for her...there, i said it.....but i LOVE you, bekah!!!!

.....anyways, gotta go to mrs. fields tomorrow and make that cookie.....GET that cookie.....EAT that cookie....man, anyone know the recipe for their delicious, mile-high frosting??? actually no, dont tell me....PLEASE dont tell me....that would not be good.....

xoxo

kat

.....really need to get my life together....

freak....has it really been 13 days since i was on this thing....holy crap....thats a LONG time...too long....thats like half-a-month long....and not to mention, SOOOOOOOO unlike me. sorry. i just cant believe how fast time goes by when you have a kid....SO fast.....too fast. i hate that. but i love my kid.

anyways, the past couple of weeks have been filled with so much fun....right when i got back from vacay, almost ALL of my family came into town...and when i say almost all....i mean ten out of my eleven brothers and sissys were all here! so fun.....so,so fun! first we celebrated the 4th of july and then my two sisters blessed their babies....it was such a sweet, special week....with lots of food....and cake.....and did i mention lots of food? we seriously had a HUGE, smorgasboard, euphorically delicious dinner every night...and of course i had a blast....and i gained 5 pounds to prove it....but im pretty sure everyone in attendenace did, too....so that makes it ok, right???

im gonna post a ton of pics today....and over the next couple of days(i hope) so i can get all caught up! oh...and i forgot to tell you, cruz is crawling! he is so adorable....he is growing up....i want another!!

here goes with the pics.....hope you can keep up. theres a ton.....but then again, anything less would be so unlike me....

.....and here she is....my beautiful sissy, with her beautiful baby neal.

and ps. the baby blessing for baby neal was at my mom and dads house......just so the pictures will start to make more sense :)

 

here is neal all dolled up in his sunday best....and yes, that is DIFI palmade that liz has got all up in his strands.....

 

.....this is the most perfect pic of my bro, ben. hes singing. he usually is.....

...gotta love my sexy husband.....HOT dang!

....and....here we ALL are......it looks pretty, but it was chaos. all of it was. AND i loved it!

and once again.....

.....we tried to take a family picture....

but cruz got away....he always gets away...even my man arms couldnt stop him.....

just kidding, he came back......and we LOVED him....but then i wasnt ready for the picture....

so we all  just played together for the rest of the night.....

.....and cruz kept wanting to show us what a big boy he was.....

and we loved it!

every last second of it.....

.....we loved it.

xoxo kat

BEAUTY treatment TAG

so i was just thinking the other day how i totally wanted tagged....and then, low and behold, my friend ashlee tagged me....with the best tag ever btw. so here goes...enjoy!

MY FOUNDATION: you will probably laugh but i love MERLE NORMAN luxiva powder foundation in ULTRA GOLDEN. i know what you are thinking....merle norman....old lady make-up....go ahead and laugh but trust me, it makes your skin look velvety smooth in like two seconds...AND, for the rare occasion that i have longer than two seconds to make my skin LOOK flawless.....i love MAC's studio fix fluid and powder foundations.

MY BLUSH: OMG, i seriously have like 12....but right now im addicted to MAC's sweetness and dollymix.

MY DAY CREAM: hmmmmmm. no day cream really....just an awesome skin care line....and all thanks to my friend loni for introducing me to it....its called OBAGI.

MY LIPSTICK: im pretty sure i have every pink lipstick that MAC has ever come out with....BUT, a few of my favorites are angel, politely pink, and real-doll.....OH and i cant forget to mention MAC's lipgloss in UNDERAGE & FLORABUNDANCE and their lipliner in SUBCULTURE....they go with all my prettiet pinks and nudes.....

MY ESSENTIAL BEAUTY PRODUCT: my merle norman powder!!!! hands down!!!!

MY FAVORITE PRODUCT: my MAC waterproof eyeliner.....

MY PERFUME: very sexy now and PINK. both by Victoria's Secret.

MY NAILS: my nails break....one at a time they break....and i can never keep up with them.....so they are always uneven :(

MY FEET: no comment (if you know me, you know why.)

MY HANDS: ewww. i have man hands. they are huge and sick.....just like my feet.

THREE PRODUCTS TO TAKE ON A DESERT ISLAND: sunscreen, more sunscreen & my OBAGI!!!!! dont get me wrong....i LOVE my tan....but i love NOT having wrinkles even more!!

WOMEN I ADMIRE FOR THERE BEAUTY: i have to say carmen electra.....but only cause i met her once....and she is just as flawless and beautiful in real life as she is in all the magazines.

WOMEN WITH THE BEST SENSE OF STYLE: jessica simpson always looks fab.

MY ULTIMATE DREAM: to have my sissy rebekah's flawless perfect skin. she is always glowing...even with no make-up....AND, even when she wakes up in the morning. it's not fair.

I TAG: melody ross, rebekah peterson, & loni lamm.

sick little boy.....

so my precious little babe is sick....and my heart is sick, cause he is sick....he has the flu....and it is so sad!! i always tried to imagine what it would be like the first time he got sick....and i never imagined it would be like this! i mean, nothing can prepare you for what you feel when your child is sick....and you are helpless.....well, i did give him pedialite at least...i guess that helped....but anyways, i love him and he is my heart and my soul and he needs to get better soon cause i cant stand feeling like this......

here are some pics of him in happier times.....a few days earlier.....

he is such a little man....i LOVE it!

....just playing around with auntie bekah and uncle doug.....

he really likes dougs hat....obviously. :) 

 

and he is always camera ready, too. :)

....he has the biggest, little mouth i have ever seen and i can't get enough of it....AND the biggest, little teeth, too.....ahhhhh....SO cute!!

ps daddy, we'll see you in just 2 more sleeps.....

xoxo kat

poolside

 

i figured it was high time that cruz learn about one of his mommy's favorite hobbies.....laying-out....tanning....sun worshiping, whatever you want to call it....so yesterday, we finally went to the pool. and what better place for cruz to get in a pool for the first time than Virginia Beach where the water feels like bath water and it is 80 degrees just by the time you wake up in the morning....and the breeze from the ocean makes it perfect laying out weather....and the MOST perfect time for cruz to get in a pool for his first time.....so we did it....and cruz was so excited....well, he was sure excited to have sunscreen and his swimming diaper on anyway........

.....things changed a little though when we finally got to the pool. you can tell from the picture below.....at first, cruz wasn't too sure about this whole pool thing....

....but then mommy held him real close so he wouldn't be too scared....

and then......

...i slowly made my move.....

and.....

he LOVED it!!!

he was just SO cute....now, for his close up....

....ahhhhhhhhhhhhh..........

but cruz had so much fun.......

....he didn't want to get out.....literally, his feet got all stuck in that thing....

 

so i played with him some more.....

and then when it was time to get out again, he was pretty happy.....

.....and so was i. :)

but i have to admit.....the best part....

were his little water-logged feet and pruned toes.....

we cant wait to do it all over again today....this is the life....still wish daddy were here....love you justin and miss you tons!!!!

xoxo

kat