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    « F.A.T.H.E.R.S. | Main | Buh-Bye Facebook :( »

    Wednesday, August 05, 2009

    THIS IS FOR YOU, CAT.

    this is gonna be raw. really raw.

    AUTHENTIC.

    100%  AUTHENTIC........to thine own self be true....right??!?!

    here goes........

    i need to tell you about my friend, Cat.....and i dont need to say her last name because if you know me, then you know "the story".....and if u dont know the story then GOOD.....I AM SO GLAD, and this isn't really addressed to you anyways.....but you can keep reading if you want.......actually i REALLY hope you do.

    i attended a seminar last weekend.......kind of like "self-help."

    i went with no other intention than maybe a little peace of mind and a better nights sleep.......BUT, what i learned will change my life forever......and i discovered things and saw things about myself that i never even knew were there......AND things that i never even knew were MISSING.

    the word that comes to mind is ENLIGHTENED......enlightened in the MOST LITERAL sense......LIKE I LITERALLY FEEL LIGHTER!

    i feel like i shed over 2000 pounds last weekend that i know for sure was baggage......baggage and "weight" that i had been carrying around with me for so long.....and weighted down with.....and burdened with.....and never even knew it was there.....until it was gone......ALL of it was gone........and boy did i feel FREE.......and LIGHT!!!!!

    almost weightless......and powerful.....really, really powerful!

    and when you feel that kind of power the possibilities are endless........and thats exactly what i did for myself at this seminar.....i created possibilities for my life and for the future.....and one of the possibilities that i created for myself was FREEDOM!

    to be FREE from the PAST......not to forget the past or anything like that.....definitely not......there are just SO many wonderful things that are in my past that i would hate to EVER forget......BUT JUST TO BE FREE FROM MY PAST...........

    COMPLETE my past and have ownership of my past.......create space for a really bright, and fulfilling future......

    .....all of a sudden, it wasnt even hard to do the really scary things anymore......because you start to realize that the more you try and hold on to your past and try to change the past.....the more you carry it with you......and then the past REALLY never goes away.....and "THE PAST" is just the past and thats all it will ever be....it doesnt dictate the future thats for sure and its definitely not gonna keep me from living a really extraordinary life.

    its time to COMPLETE my past.

    SO THIS IS FOR YOU CAT AND FOR EVERYONE ELSE "OUT THERE" (and i know there are many of you..........) that have been affected by this......and affected by me....and i really need to take responsibility for my actions, my words, my judgments, and even just my thoughts.....that somehow transpired into pointless and meaningless conversation that only assigned blame, shame, and fault.......AND, i have already had a conversation with Cat personally......and it was one of the most beautiful conversations that i have ever had.....she is beautiful and humble and radiant and honest and she will forever be a part of my heart......

    i love cat.

    i dont blame her and i regret so deeply the time i spent justifying what happened.

    im truly sorry for making her wrong to so many of you.....and especially sorry to her.

    my wish for Cat is to have nothing but LOVE and HAPPINESS and BLESSINGS in her life.................truly, she has a wonderful heart and the most genuine spirit.

    as for my life.......i FINALLY feel the freedom to create a new future for myself.......and by future i mean this VERY NEXT MOMENT.......AND THE MOMENT AFTER THAT AND THE MOMENT AFTER THAT......

    i have created freedom and the possibility of a genuinely fulfilling life.......WHAT WILL YOU CREATE?

    xoxo kat

    Posted at 08:52 PM |

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    Cala Clark

    Kat
    Wow, what a BIG relief, i am sooo happy for you!! You have such a big heart and i only hope for happiness for you and Cruz as well.

    Posted by: Cala Clark | Friday, August 14, 2009 at 10:14 AM

    Camille McClelland

    You amaze me kat. Love you so much!

    Posted by: Camille McClelland | Sunday, August 09, 2009 at 09:10 AM

    Chelsea

    So so glad to hear from such a happy, refreshed you. You deserve all the happiness in the world. Love you so much!

    Posted by: Chelsea | Friday, August 07, 2009 at 06:13 PM

    Tiffany Tidd

    Ok so what seminar did you go to because I so clearly need that haha. Wow girl, good for you and how big of you. I don't think I could forgive that easily as much as I'd like to say I could. The thing I love about you the most is that you're real. You're not fake, you don't say what people want to hear you say what people need to hear and that's something to look up to for sure. I keep trying to get out of my past and create my future. I hope that soon enough I can do that same as you. Love you girl!!

    Posted by: Tiffany Tidd | Friday, August 07, 2009 at 05:56 PM

    alice shumway

    Wow. You sound like a new person. I have been where you have been. You are very forgiving. That's so awesome. My daughters know your brother Matt from school before he moved. They always say what a great example he is to others. Guess it runs in your family!! They were so excited to see him at our ward last sunday for the blessing. Hope you make new happy memories and your life will just get better and better!!

    Posted by: alice shumway | Friday, August 07, 2009 at 05:07 PM

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    guessing girl. im just guessing.

    • 2/11/09 8:07 PM
      Okay my question is how often do you mystic tan? Where do you go, and what advice do you have to get a tan that always looks as perfect as yours does!? I too am jealous of your beautiful glowing tan and I don't want to get skin cancer, freckles or wrinkles ick! me: well, im not gonna lie.....i go tanning in a tanning bed at least three times a week and i try to do a mystic tan at least once a week. i ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS cover my face with a towel in the tanning bed though and so should you! especially if you worry about wrinkles like i do......use the mystic tan for your face and no one will ever be able to tell the difference! as far as mystic tans go, i will only go to places that use MYSTIC TAN. right now i get my spray tan at GOLDS GYM but almost every tanning salon has a spray tan now. just make sure it's MYSTIC TAN they're using and not some impostor.....usually tanning salons will proudly display the name of the product they are using but if they don't, just ask. good luck!
    • 2/7/09 9:05 PM
      “You are sweet to share you knowledge. Do you have any carbs with your proteins or generally just plain old proteins?” me: ABSOLUTELY. i ALWAYS include carbs with my protein. ALWAYS. Not only are carbs a REALLY important part of maintaining a healthy lifestyle but carbohydrates also help transport the protein to the muscle which is a huge factor when it comes to muscle growth.
    • 2/6/09 1:38 PM
      "So, what is your typical day of your food intake like? I eat nothing and still keep on the weight. Im 45 and things just don't move like they use to. I could starve in my 20's and lose weight. I like veggies and chicken and salads but the weight stays. Any advice?" me: well, there are a lot of reasons why the weight just wont go away. MOST of the time and VERY unfortunately it is for reasons that we are completely un-aware of. BE AWARE. Make sure u are drinking plenty of water. It can be really challenging to recognize all the signals that are going on inside our body and A LOT of the time we confuse hunger with thirst. I aim for a gallon of water per day. if u feel like you’re eating pretty healthy and the weight still wont come off i would suggest three things: 1. keep a food journal to see how many calories you are actually consuming. most people are pretty shocked when they see the results. i know i was. 2. bump up your cardio routine. As much as we ALL hate the rule it ALWAYS remains the same. calories in vs. calories out (or calories burned) is the only “trick” to successful weight loss no matter what your age. 3. CONSISTANCY. CONSISTENCY. CONSISTENCY. consistency is key. i don't think anyone has ever accomplished anything great with an inconsistent effort. I can’t really tell you what my daily food intake is because it changes every day depending on my level of activity. BUT, I would suggest going to the link that i am going to post below. it is a calorie calculator from Muscletech. it calculates exactly how many calories you should be consuming on a daily basis depending on your age, level of activity and what your fitness goals are. It also breaks up the calories into carbs, fats, and proteins to ensure that you reach your fitness goals at warped speed! Good luck!
    • http://www.muscletech.com/resources/tools/calculators/caloric.shtml
    • 2/6/09 12:25 PM
      "What are some of your favorite high protein meals and what supplements do you like to take?" me: i love anything with chicken. i usually make a whole bag of chicken at the beginning of each week. that way its really easy to include high quality protein with every meal. ill do chicken burgers for lunch and chicken with vegetables for dinner....and, i must confess...sometimes i even grab a piece of chicken for a snack! for breakfast my favorite high protein meals are poached egg whites on whole wheat toast or oatmeal with egg whites. it’s GOOD! i promise! AND....to be honest, i don’t ever take supplements. i take a multi vitamin every day of course but EVERYONE should be doing that anyways. i take the TWINLAB DAILY ONE CAPS WITH IRON but it doesn't really matter what you take just as long as you take one!

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